Lies and slander

Shyko called me about 9:30am and I was begrudgingly getting ready for church. It's not that I didn't want to go, it's just my bed was calling my name. We talked for a bit then I told her to go and called Abbie and call me back.

Shyko: How much are we betting that she isn't gonna go?

Me: Five bucks...well imaginary five bucks. :D

She giggled and hung up and I finished getting ready. I never did hear back from her before I left. This week things went surprisingly smooth and we got there on time. Hardly anyone was in the choir room when I got there to put my robe on. We practiced Leaning on the Everlasting Arms a bit then went out. I loved singing Leaning, its so much fun, th pastor was a funny guy today too.

After church I met up with Hay like always and we walked back down to the music suite.

Me: So I take it we won our imaginary five bucks? What'd she say?

Shyko: She didn't even pick up, I even called her home phone. *giggles*

Me: I was so gonna say that. XD

<3 you Abbie =D

I really wanted to hang out with Shyko today, I mean REALLY wanted to. But mom and dad were going up to Bunny's mountain house for the day, and wanted me to practice with my camera, so I decided to go along. I really didn't enjoy myself, and yet I did. After sitting on the back portch for awhile I ventured down a giant slope into a hole where a creek started, and go a few shots with the FOGILIZER and the Halo filter. And for the sake of Shyko I decided to draw a "Helpful diagram" to show you~ Ok it's a crap for crap drawing I did in pen that took my five minutes to amuse you all. Humor me. Anyway after treking down and losing my ability to hear my concerned parents on the portch I took some intersting shots and got to the very bottom where a creek started I got in the mud, it was very shallow and took all kinds of shots and suddenly realized when ever I turned around there was a spider web. For those of your who don't know--I HATE SPIDERS! I like to look at them, and read about them, but I don't like to encounter them so close to my face in the wild where they might carry me away and suck out my bodily fluids. (They were only a half inch long but you can't be to careful, what if daddy spider had been around?).

( Helpful diagram of going down the hill )


Well..so..it's not really a diagram. But I said that. Point is. I laid belly down in the mountains on someones PRIVATE PROPERTY! North Georgia is not a good place to lay on peoples property, THATS how you get shot at by angry farmers and I don't need anymore disfiguring scars! (I enjoyed doing it though. And surely someone with such pretty purple flowers planted in front of a river wouldn't own a semi automatic weapon used to shoot at skinny amateur photographers!) And in the end I was covered in pollen. I think it was even in my belly button. I'm dead tired. I hope I don't have to do anything tomorrow. *giggle*

Well goodnight all.

OH YEAH! Mom took this picture of me shortly after I returned from the Gorge of DEATH and the watery pit of shiko eating spiders. (they hungerrrr...) I cropped it so I'd be to the side and not centered, but she pretty much just caught me leaning against the porch with my camera bag.


( pictureeee )

Wow last week was the busiest week I've had in a looooong while.

After Tuesdays successful first photography class, I had a loooong choir practice practicing the long songs of doom for Thursday and Easter. Thursday was Maundy Thursday, which will forever be known to me as emo church day. I sang about a 15 page long song about crucification everything was quiet and in the end we had to DEPART IN SILENCE.

Friday was the long awaited day of the Cherokee country art festival, where I got to see Shyko's portrait of me on display there. It looked awesome, and the other art from our school and the other schools was just incredible. I really enjoyed going, now being able to understand my Nikon I shot a picture of Shyko looking up at the portrait of me. Then she and I wandered out into a massive and old cemetery where we took some shots. I love taking pictures with her because she is an artist, and has good firm grasp on perspective where sometimes I tend to center a pic. Hopefully someday soon I will get to actually own my portrait, hehe.

Saturday was the only day I did, nothing, I took up the rest of the shots in my camera, but other than that? Nothing. I had to call Uncle Bob to tell me how to get my film out *cough* luckily I didn't figure out on my own, because I had not even thought that I needed to rewind my film. With his help I got it out and loaded some color film in with no problems. I got the first roll EVER developed on my 35 mm. And some of them actually turned out ok! I really expected them to all turn out sucky. Uncle Bob sent me some more helpful emails on where and what kind of lens I should get next.


Here are five black and white photos I took on the 35 mm. If you wanna see 'em =D



( What do you guys think? )

I have some more scans in color. I'll put them up if anyone wants. I'll probably put them up anyway *shakes fist*

Sunday went well, it was happy and I sang my last long song, we then went up to sisters house and saw my cute niece and nephew. Oh, and Shykos dad, gave me like, a million filters to play with! Mwahahahaha. For today Dad took me to the Roswell mill ruins and Founders cemetery where I took more shots. Right now. I'm tired. Tomorrow it starts all over again with photography class. Woo! I need a note pad. *someone remind me!!!!!!!!!!!*


You know I've wanted to make a Deviant art account for a long time for poetry and stuff but never really did, I think I will make one now, for when I start being able to shoot better pictures. (I'm not like OMG I ROCK! I'm gonna make a deviant art account! I'm not, I actually wish some of my other much more talented friends in the areas of art and writing would make one *cough*ShykoandSara*cough* )

Night.

I'm so tired and I just found a roll of toilet paper in my bed. Wonder what that means.

I have this uber long post to do about awesomeness with Shyko, and lots of pictures, but the other night I tired writing this four times and each time my power went out and I lost it ALL. So it doesn't get to be written tonight.

Old to do list:
Get my drivers license (Frickin almost there! I kept being thwarted!)
Get some books on Photography
Practice with my new camera
Clean my room
Make room pretty
Get a new bed that doesn't squeak or move
Check out Show Cases prices (Enrolled in a class at KSU instead.)

So I wanted to sign up for this photography class at KSU, mom and dad were all like yep, and then all of a sudden nope. They wanted me to go to Roswell instead, but couldn't find one, so Saturday they wander in and go, oh yeah, we signed you up for class it starts Tuesday see ya!.

Weeeelll needless to say I was horribly nervous, but it all worked out ok, I even ran into a girl named Meg, who I sat with, the only girl in the class my age. I'm excited, but i need some things...

Liiiike, a cleaning kit for starters. That's really all I need for now...other things I need when I can take a decent picture is a Skylight filter, and a zoom lens...and a flash! I know it sounds crazy, but operating a manual camera like that is pretty complicated. But the first day of class went great, I understand enough to take my first few snaps and know I'm not shooting on the same frame, and a general idea of how much light certain f-stops let in. Oh, and um, a camera case...need one of those too.

Tonight I went out to take a few shots of the moon over our weeping cherries, I take one and realize the shutter speed is to fast and wont let in enough light and change the speed way down, and felt weird knowing that. Then I whirl around AND ALMOST HAD A FREAKIN HEART ATTACK because my mother face is pressed against the glass door looking out at me.

Me: MY GOD YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH! *BREATH BREATH*

Mom: I was gonna protect you!

Me: HOW!?

Mom: Well if something grabbed you I'd have seen and told your father :D

Me: ....

I feel like I'm being hurled through this week, tomorrow is already Thursday and according to my new buddies in the choir it's Maundy Thursday, or Holy Thursday. Well, I'm baptist and never did that but hey, why not. I got another long song of DOOM to sing tomorrow, and choir practice ran uber long tonight and it felt like we sang twice as hard, I'm so tired.

That's all I got for now.

I suppose you all saw Mr. Tyler's silly delicious post. There was much maniacal laughter on his side on the phone while he did that. :D

Meh I'm tired.

Friday I went to see Ice Age 2 with Shyko. She and her dad and Robby came to pick me up and then she proceeded to drive to the theater under her dads instruction. I only felt like I was going to die a few times. Mostly it was her dad screaming at her that threw her off.

I'm going for my permit Thursday no matter what, and I will have my permanent license in 2 months, so help me. I am 19 years old and finally I feel the need to be able to walk out when I want, and go where I want, and do what I want.

Anyway, the movie was cute, Shyko talked almost all the way though it, not really at me, but at the movie.

I got home and showed mom Shyko's drawing of me, and we both were like *_* how'd she doooo that. It really is awesome. She did have something to say about my nose though. -_-

Saturday I went to see my niece and nephew. Aubrey was extra cute. She immediately wanted us to play with her blocks and she kept asking me for certain letters and I wasn't really paying attention because you lined them all up in a row but you know how little kids blocks have like something on every side? Like if it's an L it has a Lemar, and a lake and blah. Well she had the pictures up, so when she got about done I started flipping up the blocks so I could see the letters and I'll be damned if it didn't say

'BULDOGS'

One L because she only has one. "Georgia bulldogs, Ash!" I almost died. Then she did the same thing but with her name. Not bad for being 3.

I came home and some how slept early, but when I had to get up at nine I wanted my hour of sleep back. Damn you daylight savings. Church Choir went fine, half the choir was gone again because of spring break. Shyko came again, she seemed glad to about spring break, I have her back Azu Manga Daio, and we talked about all the manga Sara still has.

And tonight I got Double Dipped Fried chicken. Made by my momma, sooo gooooood.


Alright, I updated. YAY!

Well I haven't updated but I either had no time, or no use to post. Pointless I say.

I finally went and checked out the Art Institute of Atlanta, it's great. I'm glad I went because I really didn't feel like it was the right place for me at all. I want to take my ACT and a few workshops and then apply.So we'll see what happens.

Room is clean.
That's right.
Clean.


Had to battle mutant mold monsters and nearly died of dust inhalation but hey, done now. My shiny new T.V is up and is so awesome it might turn into a Gundam and fly away. I have new curtains coming and now I need Shyko's daddy to show me how to use my camera so I can take some pics to put on my wall. I have...pictures of me, and of me and my sister. I NEED PICTURES OF MY DANG FRIENDS!

Choir rawked. Another lady noticed that I'm not someones kid hanging out but an actual member, help me remember her name is Kim.

After choir I stopped by McDonalds with mom and dad and when we pulled to the first window I thought I heard a familiar voice so I looked up and she looked at me and said:

OMG HEY!

Me: Hey! How are you?

(I knew her voice and face and knew we knew each other but the name was a blank)

I'm great! I had a baby!

Me: REALLY? What is it? I mean...girl boy? What's its name?

Preston *smile* I still have the comic you gave me! I framed it, and put it on my wall!

Me: *shocked* haha!

Then we said bye and I had to go get my food. But oh man that was weird. I remembered we had several classes together, she was cool. Last I talked to her she was going to get married and she said she hadn't wanted to have children right away. She wasn't kidding! Mom and dad were overly impressed she'd mentioned my comic, I wasn't I was flattered, but just shocked to see her. I didn't regonixze her at first because she had put on some weight, she must have just had her baby. She seemed so happy, and it made me happy, but felt weird.


I have other stuff to talk about but it so doesn't fit in with this post.

Stole this from sweetkisses13

( First meme in forever )

Megmog must be extra special to get two powers.

Laterz.

The other day I was telling Shyko about seeing this GIANT sign whiel going down highway 9 that said 'COWART'S MULCH' (Cowart being my last name) She drew this comic.

( Crazyness )

Me: (11:17:28 PM): in the very beginning it totally looks like we're driving through the amazon.
Shyko (11:17:35 PM): its pine trees
Me (11:17:48 PM): I know but the house also looks like a straw hut

Shyko (11:17:54 PM): ITS NOT
Shyko (11:18:02 PM): ITS A...PINE HUT
Me (11:18:05 PM): jungle adventuuuure
Shyko (11:18:07 PM): NO

Shyko-

I am probably going to hurt you.

But not really.


That website, isn't offline.

Because it says files T-Z are down for maintainace.

R and S are before T.

BEFORE IT.

They've been up this whole time.

infact i made it download for me just now.


SO while i will probably have to hurt you at some point. Go download now.

Or Die.

More.




(apologizes for not updating Life is crazy)




KEEEEL YOOUUUU

But not really >.> ♥

Friday I was finally feeling loads better, man was I glad to be over that. Shyko's musical was that night at 7:30 so I went and bought her some flowers and went on to the school. It always feels weird to be back in there, I bought my tickets (and SO could've paid the student price but I didn't lie )
I got in and saw Torrie pretty fast and Cory both whom I hadn't seen in a while, I think it'd been a year since I'd seen Torrie, she looks just the same. I sat in a row and it wasn't long after that I spied Darth and Abbie, I wasn't sure how that was gonna go over.

Darth gave me a very scary look and pointed at me and then pointed up. Like : "YOU.UP.NOW." It was all good we hugged and talked a bit.

Me: What time does this end anyway?

Abbie: Dunno, why.

Me: you know I gotta let dad know.

Darth: What you got something better to do??

Me: EEP!

Abbie: Yeah you're coming with US after this. Where am I gonna put her...

Darth: JUST THROW 'ER ON TOP OF THE LUGGAGE!

The musical started and it was pretty cute. Shyko was SOO cute up there dancing. We had some favorites moments.

This G.I. is following this girl around and being really persistent.

G.I.: Come on just give me a chance!

*after like three days of this*

Girl: Just get lost already!

G.I.: Ok..

Girl: What do you mean OK?

G.I.: I mean...ok?

Girl: YOU'RE LEAVING ME AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH???

I liked it. Afterwords we gave Shyko our flowers, and I went back stage multiple times to help her carry stuff. We all piled in Abbie's car and got some food, then beat it to Shyko's house where we talked about everything under the sun including why we call viewing, viewings and not wakes, and listened to Shyko lament about trio (which I hope went alright). Shyko let us know at 12 we had to leave. (she had to sleep because she had trio and other musical performances in the morning.)

Shyko seemed really glad to see us all there and getting along, Abbie and I pretty much explained that in the long run, women have estrogen, and stuff happens.

This is my watered down version of things, I have more to write.

Tomorrow is choir and I get to sing 'Old Time Religion' arranged by Moses Hogan. (of course this is a very old hymn) But I love anything arranged by that man)


<--- This guy? My musical hero

See ya

♥ Shiko

So much to update on. I had such a good time last night, Shyko did great, I got to see Abbie and Darth.


Update coming your way as soon as I have coherent thoughts again.

♥ Shiko

PS

For those who asked about coming to hillside tomorrow it is right across from Rosecreek and across from the publix up there.

Don't tell anybody but I went out and bought that Super Princess Peach game for DS, I wish estrogen really worked like that.

It makes MY estrogen level goes up just playing it!

After struggling and much lamenting (well kinda) I finally finish a level. (some levels are easy and some...are just weird)


Peach: That was easy!

Me: YOU'RE EASY PEACH!

Well I mean it is frustrating when you can see the hoop at the end of the stage and then you get killed by a FLYING...EMO...TURTLE!! (seriously it cries)

I've almost got it beat though, one more stage and then the last battle, I've had it less than a week.

Practice went good, we are doing a piece arranged by Moses Hogan on Sunday so I am quite happy.

Shyko's musical is tomorrow night, I can't wait to see it.

I had a lot more to type but it's gone now. Oh well, better luck next time.

♥ Shiko

Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Hippo Birrddyyy


Happy happy birthdaaaaaaaaay to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu


Y-o-UUUUUUUUUUUU

I wish I could give you ballons right now :D

Well Sunday did go well thanks to support from my family and Shyko but right after that, mom and I caught some sort of creepy virus, ugh I haven't been able to handle food since Sunday night.

To anyone else that has this, I'm so sorry it really sucks. I've had 2 meals in the past to days. I really hope i don't just collapse into myself.

Going to practice tomorrow anyway though. I seriously hope I don't pass it on to anyone but, uh I wanna go.

Everybody keep Shyko in your thoughts this week as she is overloaded with just about everything, from trio to musical. ♥

Not much else to say, there is no need to elaborate on this subject. We have citrus spray (rather than Lysol), the house smells like a moldy creamsicle, that's all you need to know.



♥ Shiko

Ok sorry I wrote and wrote about OMG choir practice on Wednesday!!! and then didn't write after that.

Wednesday I was, very nervous and didn't realize the that service I had to go to first was an Ash Wednesday service. I come from a Baptist church, while I didn't go but a few times a year, I have always been Baptist and was active when I was younger so really the that's all I'm familiar with. Well, I mean, Baptist just don't DO the Ash Wednesday thing. However I went, the Methodist confused me a lot, I got ashes put on my forehead.

Then I wiggled my way out and found Mister Martin who seemed glad to see me (I wonder if he thought I wouldn't show?) and let me to the music suite where I stood around awkwardly while he introduced me and handed me a hymnal. I got seated and introduced like 2 more times as "Ashley Cowart who was in my program for FOUR years!" someone chimed in "and she still wants to be here???" I laughed a lot. That would've never happened at school, he is much more mellow.

I loved rehearsal, I really did. I got a piece of music he wanted me to learn by Sunday and I was ecstatic. I sang and I am a bit rusty, a few more rehearsals and I think I will be back in the swing of things. I mean I had no trouble sight reading other than getting off because I was trying to look at the notes and the words at the same time. So I was told I'd have to share a robe on Sundays and I went home.

SUNDAY

Shyko decided to be the sweetest thing ever and come to see me sing on Sunday, even though she is kinda churchaphobic (I am to a little bit, which is ironic now...). I found the room easily and came in and stood till they noticed me and gave me a robe of my very own!

Then they gave me a black folder and I got my hymnal book and they already had my name on a shelf to put my stuff. We practiced for a bit a went out into the sanctuary. I saw Shyko sitting with my parents and felt better knowing she had found them. I didn't fall, trip on my robe or disgrace the family in any way. I did ok on the songs, I sight read the hymns ok. Because I still don't really understand the methodist ways, I got confused like they broke into the lords prayer once adn randomly sand some song they all some how knew. One day I will get the hang of it, church confuses me. I did enjoy myself though.

After the service was over I found Shyko and she walked me back to the music suite and told me my mom cried! Shyko and my mother told me later I had a very joyful expression on my face. ( I was so happy to be singing again!)

So there you go. Another update tomorrow.

♥ Shiko

Me: wish me luck tomorrow is first choir practice I'm so nervous D:

Shyko: GOOD LUCK!

Shyko: Don't worry.

Shyko: Everyone is so nice.

Me: ;_;

Shyko: Not just cause they go to church etc

Shyko: They'll be so pleased to have you

Shyko: They'll love you just be yourself : )

Me: ;_; k

Me: I should tell them about Jesus!

Shyko: NO

Shyko: DON'T DO THAT

Me: but

Shyko: KEEP IT TO YOURSELF

Me: but I

Shyko: NOPE

Me: Not even the part about moses?

Shyko: NO

Shyko: NO YACHTS

Shyko: NO REDEMPTIONS

Shyko: NO PHILLIGUYS

Me: My version is accurateeee!

Shyko: no.

Shyko: go to bed.

7 pm tonight :D I'm nervous and happy all at once, my stomach can't take it. Tee hee.

ALSO!!!!!!!!! CLICK HERE NOW Shyko is now finished with me. I'm so proud :D

This is the picture she based it off. She took that picture of me at a restaurant before prom.

♥ Shiko

Today my parents returned, I cleaned the house exactly one hour before they got back home. There was congealed bacon grease in the sink, Riley was on the sofa, for some reason I put the peanut butter in the fridge, pots and pans ever and my bathroom looked like it exploded. I got it all fixed before they got here though, heh.

Later in the evening I went and rode with mom to the cemetery (it was raining to hard the other day to go) they did a good job, all the flowers and the tent is still there though. Mom and I joked a bit and left, and got food. We were in Roswell and mom felt like it was a good idea to randomly go walk at the little part on woodstock road, so we did. You would think this would atleast be pretty normal. But no matter what we do it always turns out weird.

Mom: This'll be good for us, a nice walk on a nice day to calm our frazzled nerves after being at the cemetery.

Me: *hands stuffed in pockets* Sure. *nod nod*

Mom: Yes a nice wa-- *stops*

Me: What?

I look where mom is looking at the foot of the trail there is a sign that says:



Me: *Big grin*

Mom: DOGS?? What about small children!?

Me: They have leashes for children. *continues walking*

There was much joking about being attacked by hungry coyotes while we walked. It was so funny.

Mom: You think we could do a normal thing like go for a nice walk, but NO! We have to watch for damn coyotes! Lurking around every pine tree! Liable to snatch babies out of carriages!

Me: *dying laughing*


So yeah, that was my day. Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment early in the mornin', not for anything in particular though. It's the last day my insurance is in affect so I need to get my prescriptions filled now. Mom tried to get me to stick my head under my bed or my dresser so I'd suck dust up and get sick. This is my mother

If Shyko post the picture before she goes to bed, I'll edit and post it.

♥ Shiko

Shyko is all done with me!

I hope there is a picture posted tomorrow, I want to see teh awesomeness that is my face. There is nothing awesome about my face and that sounded wrong. *cough*

So Flyff, Flyff is good, I helped make a guild and they taught me better ways to level myself, made new friends, somehow became captain. Then trauma, drama and guildies leaving to do other things. Then some of us making another guild. It's fun, and again somehow I became a kingpin. Our leader does a good job but it's still little and has a long away to go, not many people join because there is no incentive to join. Though she wants ranks to be based off who is more helpful and kind to other members. So we'll see, I like it there, I've made more friends. Yay.

Also I am now 2 levels from 50, I need to buckle down and serious level though, it's taking longer to solo and I don't want to get left behind. No, you will never see me running around darkon asking for plvls, I just don't...LIKE the idea of relying on power levels. I mean if some of my friends a few levels higher want to party or bug me till I say yes, then ok, I don't ask for them. ANYWAY, now I'm excited because 60 is with in view It's gonna take awhile but YAY!

I have some caps to load up soon.

As for real life? FIRST CHOIR PRACTICE IS ON WEDNESDAY OMG.

I'm nervous, and excited all at the same time.

Mom and dad are still AWOL, I like having the house to myself. Though in the morning the wind is strong and the house sounds like it's dying >.>

Wooters.

♥ Shiko

Me: you have to go back to SCHOOL tomorrow!

Shyko: I don't wanna don't make me think about it.

Me: There is no such thing is school

Me: You get free cupcakes forever and daisies are growing out my eyes.

Shyko: ew.

Shyko: I don't want you eye daisies.


Oh well, I tried.

All you get is convos today. I'll update something useful when I finally wake up from finally going to sleep. Maybe.

♥ Shiko

Shink says:
i wonder if they messed up the eye colors of her on purpose...

Shiko says:
o.0

Shink says:
i cant remember her name right now...the girl with pink hair that likes saske

Shiko says:
oh her

Shink says:
ones paler than the other

Shink says:
i notice it everytime they show her now

Shiko says:
XD

Shink says:
except that time they where the same O.o

Shink says:
gah now i'm confused >.<

Shiko says:
LOL!!!

Shiko says:
*hugs* XD

Shink says:
*hugs*

Shink says:
*sniff sniff*

Shink says:
its a consperacy against me >.>

Msn conversation that made me laugh, if it doesn't make you laugh at least you'll be confused by Shink and Shiko, nyah

Still have a big entry to do about flyff, things are good there, I am two levels from 50 now. Lina even let me borrow her school uniform, Misty suit makes me look like a pimpstitute.

I finally email Mr. Martin about join his choir, this is what I got back:

Hi Ashley. I'm glad that you are interested in singing at Hillside.
All you need to do to join is come to choir practice on Wednesdays at
7:00 and sign up. Looking forward to seeing you.

Simply reply for an email that seemed so hard to send. I'm actually really excited.

Still don't feel like myself, tomorrow I will go and see that they did a good job at Betty's grave, then mom and dad are leaving for two days. I'm not going. I'd much rather just stay here.

♥ Shiko

(The history channel was on behind me and I tuned in long enough to hear: "They had only one explanation. The glaciers, were possessed by the devil." Ah, history.)

Ah, it feels good to be writing again.

I haven't written in awhile, I didn't really feel like it, February is my down month. I thought a lot about Aunt Shirley who died around my birthday last year. I reflected on it a lot and of course my mothers side of the family's creepy humor came out and she started telling me when I got aggravating "I'm gonna die on your birthday!" And we'd laugh and my aunt Diane teased me a bit too. I played flyff a BUNCH but that's for another entry.

My birthday came and went, it was good. Shyko even got to come with me up to my sisters house and my mother made me doubled dipped fried chicken. Shyko gave me the practice drawing of a much bigger drawing she is doing for me, it was for my birthday but it's not finished and it's also so good her art teacher wants to put it in the county wide art fair. I have now seen the real thing, it is incredible and I'm so flattered she did it of me. So like I said, my birthday came and went, and nobody died.

What's next is sorta of a history of my aunt Betty and other people, no one has to read this, but there was no point in telling the rest of my story if I didn't explain thing first.

( About us, and them  )

So Sunday, exactly a week after my birthday, I got up and my dad turned to me. Betty was dead.

I sat on my sofa to try and take that fact in, Betty had had heart problems all her life, she had had heart attacks and was diabetic and required a lot of medication, most of which she was hooked on, how could she help it? When you're given strong painkillers to you for many years that's what happens. But as I was saying she had these problems but you didn't really expect her to die. She was a miracle of medicine really. She has so many close calls that turned out well and such. She was doing fine for once.

Chris had called aunt Diane who'd called my mother. We don't really know what happened and we never will. She had just been switched to morphine, and Chris said he came in around 11pm to check on her and she seemed really confused. At night she had a chair with an autman she liked to sit at. He tried to help her with her medications and then went to sleep. He got back up at 4 am and felt that it was to quiet so he went in to check on her again. He said she was slumped over in her chair with her face on the foot rest. He did CPR and everything, it must of been really hard for him, I can't even imagine.
Probably what happened was either, the morphine slowed her heart down so much it stopped. Or she accidentally overdosed. Like I said we'll never know. I had a lot of angst because I never got to make peace with her. But like I said I still loved her, and I knew that she still loved me to.

My mother put her hand on my back and looked at me and said: "Diane said to tell you, at least she waited a week after your birthday."
Ah my family. Our sense of humor scares even me sometimes.

( We meet agian: Viewing and being a mysetrious woman in black )

( The return of Lorrie )

( Funeral: Amazing grace )

We all came home and slept for a long time, I'm up now and writing to you all. Now I just have to catch up with the rest of you and hope you forgive me for my long absence, again.

Also Thank you sweetkisses13 for the valentines day card.

I have more to talk about but that's for another entry. Goodnight all.

♥ Shiko